As I often do on my drive home, I was thinking about weird hypothetical questions. What would I do with a winning lottery ticket? (basically everything) If I could do any job in the world and have it pay enough that I could live to my standards, what would that job be? (sewing in some fashion (haha pun) but I'm not sure what)

If I could have anything in the world right now, what would I ask for?

A hug from Summer.

That answer came immediately and confidently. I spend my hours at work distracting myself as much as I can, unless you're able to talk. Then when we talk, I'm happy. Extremely happy. Then I go back to work. When I get off work, it's just a slowly creeping loneliness and depression.

I stare at pictures of you a lot. Just you smiling, making silly faces, or making a heart with your arms. You've helped me so much in valuing myself, I will always feel like I owe you everything, but in the weirdest way. I don't think of it as a debt, or that you were intentionally trying to be my therapist. Genuinely, just who you are to me helped me realize that around the right people, whatever intrinsic value I have shows through. And you are the right people. So very much.

I know that hug wouldn't be you doing me a favor, or something you'd come back later and bring up something about me oweing you a favor. It would be you genuinely valuing me, and giving me a hug. Words wouldn't do justice to how much joy that would bring me, so I'm not even going to try.

I love you, so very much Summer. I can't wait to hug you.