I just saw another post talking about BPD, but it also referred to it as EUPD so of course I had to look up what that meant.

Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder - another name for the same disorder.

As someone who loves somebody who has the disorder, that pisses me off. I think BPD is a name that makes sense. In a lot of ways, and I do mean *A LOT,* you live on a borderline. But I would never call you emotionally unstable.

First, we talked about how nobody but you gets to decide what the appropriate reaction to something is. Nobody is ever allowed to tell another human they are overreacting, because only one human knows how much something truly means to them. If someone came in to my house and saw me breaking down because a blanket of mine had just been shredded, they may tell me I'm overreacting. Only you, me, and my mother know what that quilt means to me, though. So how can they gauge what an appropriate reaction is?

Next, and this is the part that makes me almost cry every time thinking about how hard this must be to experience...you don't remember what happens during a split. If it is fair to call someone with BPD "emotionally unstable," then that label also applies to people with alzheimer's.

I feel like I know first hand that you do not remember what happens during a split. What I mean is specifically this: I don't believe you just because Summer said she doesn't remember what happened. I *KNOW* that you do not remember what happens during a split based off of your reaction when I told you what you said/did during a split. Your face portrayed utter shock and guilt when we talked about it. It was one of the first times I had experienced you splitting, and we were both really upset at the time, and I don't even think you and I knew it was called splitting at that point (look how far you've come, Summer! you've got this baby!)

I really genuinely mean that. Obviously I trust you. I have 100% faith that there are no secrets between us. Yes, there are things we don't know about each other, but that's different from secrets. We have both told the other person things they would rather not know about, but we do so because that is the relationship we want to have with each other. No secrets.

But the look on your face told me you were genuinely surprised by what I had just said to you. I know you weren't lying, because you're a terrible liar. You and I both know that is a compliment, as well. It means you never took the time to get good at lying. It's one of the multitude of reasons I am so deeply in love with you.

Anyway, back to the main quest: It pisses me off that anyone would be called emotionally unstable for things that were caused by a disorder that puts them in such a fight or flight heightened state they do not remember what happened. That's entirely unacceptable to me.

The last one I'll post about but not lastly: Calling anyone "emotionally unstable" is never helpful. Let's say items 1 & 2 on this list didn't apply, and that the label was perfectly accurate and acceptable. That doesn't make the label helpful. In fact, I'd venture to say the label is actually harmful. There are labels that people actively will fight against having. Hell, people will avoid getting tested for HIV so they don't have to worry about being charged with murder if they spread the disease. I'm certain there are people who would be diagnosed "EUPD" then immediately leave that physician for calling them emotionally unstable.

Back to side questing: I do, however, think the acronymn EUPD is full of great joke opportunities. Is it okay for me to make jokes about BPD potentially? Obviously I would have to read the room, and definitely never make a joke about BPD during a split (unless I could guarantee it'd make you laugh. I did get you to un-split that way once. I was most successful getting you to unsplit while you were physically here though. You started to get jealous and split several times and I would just hug you and tell you how much I am in love with you and only you. It seemed to help. Still true, by the way. I love you.)

I wouldn't want to make any EUPD acronymn jokes without your blessing, but I'm pretty sure I'll get it. You've got a perfect-amount-of-dark sense of humor.

The ADHD made me totally lose track of where I was going with this. Or maybe it's lack of sleep, or a combination of the two things.

Either way, back to trying to sleep or doom scrolling.

PS - I love you. I'm here, and I'm not leaving.

PS - Perfect Summer.