I have been on/off sleeping for the last 6.5 hours or so. The only thing consistent about that period of time is the inability to stop thinking about you. No plotting, no evil wizardry (some benevolent wizardry), just...love. A lot of reading, researching, and watching videos on BPD. Then, I got tired of focusing on one trait of yours, as it turns out you have several traits! I'm pretty sure I've written something like this post on this website before. Either way, though, I had a thought that turned into many thoughts that turned into me sitting at the computer typing you another love letter.

I did almost put a TW at the top of this one, and in a way that's what these first two statements are. I don't know if it is appropriate for me to write about how you are my dream girl, and then list specific reasons why you are my dream girl. I have no idea if that's okay. But, I'm going to do it anyway, and you can decide if you want to read it or not. I know you like reassurance, and some of these features apply both to platonic and romantic love anyhow.

So to start, I love you. You are, in fact, my dream girl. You are already quite aware of this, I believe. But it is high time for a diatribe on how amazing you are. These are in no particular order.

DREAM GIRL REASON #1: Remember a few weeks back when I bragged about how awesome you are to Pete? No? Alright, I'll tell you again. Pete texted me about how awesome it would be to have a girlfriend that played Everquest, and I texted him back saying you were going to play with me. When I thought about that earlier this morning, I remembered you said very specifically, on multiple occassions, "I'll try it." As though to say "I'm not promising I will like it or that I will play it, but I will try it."

You know what's better than a girlfriend who plays Everquest? A dream girl who is willing to try new (to her) games with me simply because I asked her to. That's so, so much better. It means that for years to come, we'll be trying new things out finding new hobbies or passions. To me, that's super exciting. Time with you really is always the best.

DREAM GIRL REASON #2: Even though I know this has been stated a million times before, I have to say it again. Our Saturday date night 9? 10? months ago was absolutely perfect. I quite literally think if any man were to walk away from the experience I had that night and not have a dream girl he would have to be dead. The night was utterly perfect. You were utterly perfect.

DREAM GIRL REASON #3: The way you watch TV matches perfectly with me. You talk exactly the perfect amount during a TV show. You talk enough so that there's actually quality time being spent with us. You've heard me mention that before. Time spent watching TV with you is actually quality time together because we talk through the show. This is opposed to previously I would just be the same room, looking at the same box as another person. I absolutely loved sitting next to each other pointing out all the references on Solar Opposites together. Having conversations and pausing the show when we needed to. Yet again, you do something perfectly in my opinion. I guess it is more accurate to say you do it perfectly relative to the amount I want it done. You know, dream girl and all.

DREAM GIRL REASON #4: I rewatched some of the videos we made earlier. Amazing. I want to make more. I'll leave it at that.

DREAM GIRL REASON #5: I would be remiss (and quite blind) if I didn't mention how stunningly gorgeous you are. When I think about your beauty, I'm reminded of a picture I saw long ago of Margot Robbie. On the left, it is a picture of her as Harley Quinn. On the right, her as Barbie. The caption says "GET YOU A GIRL THAT CAN DO BOTH"

That's the thing. You can do both, and then a ton more. I've seen you in all sorts of outfits, with all sorts of hairstyles. Fresh out of the shower to not doing well mentally and haven't showered for a week. I've seen you sick and healthy. The only way I have not seen you is unattractive. I won't say you're always a 10/10, because sometimes you're a 12/10. You're gorgeous, in a way that isn't fair to other women.

DREAM GIRL REASON #6: Whether or not you will admit it and give yourself credit for it, you are very creative (you still owe me a painting, by the way. When can I pick that up?). You're not just talented and able to apply the paint to the canvas recreating something beautiful that is within your vision. You are creative and able to envision a seabed with creatures swimming around, visualizing then creating the entire seascape on canvas. Plus, as an extra bonus, when you're doing well and you paint, you are typically vey happy and very silly. I'd pay to watch you paint. Like OnlyFans, but with clothes on and doing art lol.

DREAM GIRL REASON #7: You are so good with kids and animals. Falcor already thinks your mom. Charlie does too. Since my actual daughter is grown, they're my family here. As a mother you know how it feels when your son likes a person. It's a very, very big deal. This ties in to #6 above. I absolutely LOVE IT when you send me videos of you and E when he was little. First, it makes me happy because I still want Audrey to happen some day and it's just a continuous stream of evidence that you are an amazing mother. You're so good at communicating with children. You don't baby speak them, you just calmly, patiently, and lovingly explain the world to them and watch them grow. Just like #6, I'd pay to watch that. This time, though, I'd pay to watch it because of the smile on your face. I still can't decide if your best feature is your eyes or your smile, but that smile couldn't light up a whole room since the room would have already caught fire from the supernova of brightness. I don't know, I think I failed that expression pretty hard, but to say your smile lights up a whole room is insulting. It lights up my entire world bringing life where there was once desolation.

DREAM GIRL REASON #8: You are honest, and you keep me in check. Hand in hand with that is your communication. When you mess up, you own up to it and apologize for it. When I mess up, you call me out on it and let me know that I upset you in a healthy way, not with screaming and yelling. Then after my thick skull apologizes, you forgive me. It's exactly the recipe for success.

Well, this took off and I wrote a lot more than I expected to, but it turns out that it's incredibly easy to write about how amazing you are.

You may have noticed this page is titled "Dream Girl 1" - I'm sure I'll write about this topic again, because it all flows so naturally. You do things that impress me and make me fall more in love with you on such a regular basis, I won't even get a chance to re-use reasons.

PS - Aishiteru, beautiful.