I wonder if you are reading these during this period where you had to disappear.

Thank you for telling me ahead of time you were going to. Once again, you amaze me. I told you an issue that I had, and you accomodate for it and make sure you don't trigger it yourself. I'm very certain that this isn't how you wanted this to happen, and just as certain that you don't want to go without talking to me. That sounds arrogant, but...

Once again, while doom scrolling, I saw some wisdom that made me feel pretty amazing. It said "When an overthinker / overanalyzer tells you they love you, believe them. You can trust that they have thought through every single reason not to."

I wish you didn't have anxiety. I wish you didn't have to feel the way you do without medication, and even with medication you still don't ever get to feel anxiety-free.

But I do know it makes you think through everything very thoroughly, and you are incredibly smart to begin with. So during this time where we aren't able to talk, I'm falling back on how many times you've told me you love me. In fact, that was the first text you sent me today: "Good morning. I love you"

When we are able to talk again, feel free to say that as much as you want. I never will tire of hearing it. Ever. Even just imagining you saying it right now makes me smile.

I hope you know that I love you as confidently as I know you love me. I hope that you're able to read these posts and they bring a smile. Or maybe just a few moments where the anxiety isn't as bad as it normally is while you think about the person writing this holding you every night under a custom made quilt watching anime, or sharing a controller trying to make a shirtless guy walk up a mountain.

Goodnight, beautiful. I love you, my dear.